By Gladeana Mcmahon, Stephen Palmer, Christine Wilding
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Extra resources for Achieving Excellence in your Coaching Practice: How to Run a Highly Successful Coaching Buisness (Essential Coaching Skills & Knowledge)
Is this a logical thing to do? Is the belief realistic (empirically correct)? • Where is the evidence for my belief? • Would people I know agree with my idea? Is the situation so awful or terrible? What is making it feel this way? • Am I making a big deal of this? Am I blowing it out of proportion? • If I “can’t stand it”, what will really happen? Is the belief helpful/pragmatic? • • • • Where is my attitude getting me? Is it helping me attain my goals? Is my belief helping me to solve my problem?
Perhaps they don’t think I am a good coach,” or, “My girlfriend is unhappy with all the time I am giving to my business. ” Skill: considering possible alternatives Stressed people have a tendency to interpret others’ actions or behaviours in a negative manner. This is often based on little evidence. Challenge your mind-reading. Consider the alternatives. Ask yourself: Are there any other possible reasons for the person’s behaviour? Am I making a negative interpretation when I could make a positive interpretation?
Is this ﬂexible thinking? Then introduce ﬂexible, non-demanding, non-absolute beliefs that consist of preferential wishes and desires. ” Error: “I-can’t-stand-it-itis” By telling yourself, “I can’t stand it,” or, “I can’t bear it,” you reduce your tolerance for dealing with frustrating or difficult problems. ” This style of thinking leads to the lowering of one’s tolerance for dealing with frustration or stressful events. This is known as low frustration tolerance (LFT). Skill: developing high frustration tolerance (HFT) Accepting reality and challenging LFT beliefs are important.